My return to Sydney didn't begin on the best note but I was fortunate to have friends nearby & family on the phone to help me through my first rough patch. Unfortunately, the family that I began working for was not the right match for me, & due to differences in parenting styles & expectations, I realized I could not stay with them for three months. It was a trying few days, & I stressed myself out to the point of (many) tears because I pride myself on being hardworking & capable, & I never wanted to be an au pair who left a family; it made me feel like a quitter. But in the end, I gave one week's notice on my fourth day with the first family, because I knew the situation would not get better.
| Beautiful fall colors on my walks in northern Sydney |
I think everything happens for a reason though, & I was so incredibly fortunate that on the very day I gave my first family notice (with no idea what I would do for work or housing once I left), I got a text from a Canberran friend, Carys, asking if I knew any girls in Sydney looking for a host family. Her host mum's sister lives in Sydney, & their next au pair had fallen through. They were desperate to find someone available to start in a week & a half. Carys had texted me - not knowing that I was unhappy or leaving my first family - to see if I had any friends looking for work. As it happened, I was able to tell Carys my situation, pass along my contact information, & spoke with the mum, Danika, within minutes. We agreed to meet on the coming Friday night to see if I would be a good fit for their family (& them for me). It was actually relieving to feel like I was at rock bottom because I wasn't trying to impress anyone, as I normally might have for an "interview," & was rather asking every question I could, coming fresh from the burn of knowing of what didn't work with the first family. Because I was leaving a bad situation I never expected to encounter, I was more cautious & unwilling to jump from one family to another unless the second family would be right for me. If it wasn't a good fit upon meeting them, I would try to find other work in Sydney. But I had a really good feeling after speaking with Danika on the phone, & we agreed to meet on a Friday evening; I joined the family for pizza dinner & met the parents & kids. I immediately had a good feeling when I was offered wine or beer & Danika & Rob reminisced on college with me. I felt comfortable with the family, in the same way that the Jeppesens made me feel at home for my months in Canberra.
I really loved the Southwell family & was relieved to find Bella (9) & Charlie (7) "normal"...or as normal as kids can be! Rob & Danika are funny & fun-loving & have a great relationship with their kids as well as a great social life with & without their kids. They also are very healthy/fitness-oriented & have a beautiful, clean home in a great location; we live on a peninsula between Sydney Harbour & the Pacific Ocean (more specifically, Australia's most famous beach, Bondi Beach). Harbour & ocean views are everywhere, & Rob even pulled over for me to take a touristy shot of the absolutely stunning sunset over the harbour on our ride to the house. At the end of dinner & after a fun evening with the family, I committed to begin with them on the following Thursday.
| View of the CBD/Harbour Bridge, 2 minutes from my new house! |
After getting through the stress of giving notice to my first family & nearly immediately finding a much better situation, I treated myself to a hair appointment & mani/pedi on my Friday off as well as some puppy cuddles at a pet store then enjoyed a dinner date on Saturday night with an awesome guy I met in Queenstown, Tan. I even got word that several of my friends would be in Sydney over the weekend for me to catch up with...truly, everything turned 180 degrees.
| Highlight of my day was playing with this beagle puppy! |
| View of the harbour after dinner with Tan |
| Exploring the CBD with Carys & Kiana |
Although I had planned to still work for my first host family on the Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday before I left, they arranged a babysitter for Saturday & a family member to watch the kids during the week. Understandably, they didn't want the boys to become more attached to me (nor did I), so I was free to leave on Sunday, 10 May. I was planning to start with my new family on Thursday, 14 May, so in the meantime, I headed to Al's with all of my luggage (again haha) & even got to say hello to his mum, Irene, on Mother's Day ! I am so so lucky to have had the support of the Parsons during my time here & was relieved to have a familiar place to stay during my transition time. They are the absolute best hosts & have been so kind/open to me any time that I needed, which is an incredible gift when I'm on the other side of the world from my family & closest friends.
I spent my next days off enjoying classes at a yoga studio I bought a pass for (I'm totally new to yoga but a big fan already!) & went out to the movies with Tan; we even caught the red carpet premier of Mad Max in Australia (although we saw the new Avengers film), with paparazzi & everything!
| In love with my hippie yoga studio |
| Someone famous? |
| An Australian model whose name I don't recall |
One week ago on Thursday, I was picked up from Edgecliff Station by my new host dad, Rob, & arrived at my new home. Because the old au pair was still here, I spent a few nights in Charlie's room before moving into the au pair room across the hall. On Friday, the old au pair gave me the run-down on her routine during the day, & I got to know the kids' schedule. On Saturday, I met a large group of other au pairs in the area at Bondi Beach for lunch & drinks then played poker with Rob & Danika & their friends Saturday night. It was fun to drink & play & cut loose with my host parents & mad me miss my poker group from uni!! On Sunday, Tan & I took the ferry to Manly Beach for the day & had such a great time! We walked around on a coastal walk & got fish & chips, which we ate on a picnic blanket by the water. We got to chat & watch surfers as the sun went down then got gelato on our way to the ferry back to Circular Quay. I was a big fan of Manly & wish I'd gotten to spend some time there in summer !
| Bondi Beach with new au pair friends ! |
| Manly Beach with Tan |
As the old au pair left this weekend, I began Monday morning solo with Bella & Charlie. It has been lots of fun & also lots of learning on my part (good learning, not bad learning!). Because my most recent experience has been with younger children (Andrew, Annabel, & Emily were 5, 3, & 18 months, respectively) & I have never been with older children in quite the same role as I am now, I am learning their likes & dislikes & the best ways to keep them happy & having fun while also healthy & well-behaved. It's a challenge but a totally solvable & being the overachiever that I am, I am eager to be the best possible au pair for them ! It's also funny because they are the same age apart as Patrick & myself (2 years), so I find some of their playful bickering & games & interactions to be similar (& usually nicer) than mine & Patrick's. I have had fun reminiscing with Mom about our childhood & telling her stories about Bella & Charlie.
| Bella being silly in my ENO |
I am currently trying to walk a line of winning their trust by being someone they like, as the new au pair, & keeping them healthy (& parents happy!) by encouraging outside play & games...but there are so many differences I've realized between younger kids & Bella & Charlie's ages that I am adapting to now. For instance, when I try & brainstorm some activities for us, I remember doing nature walks & silly games with my younger ones but many of those quite simply won't fly with the older kids because they are at an age where they can deem something lame & simply not do it. With younger ones, it's easier to convince them an activity or a game will be fun but older kids are a little disenchanted. They have to want to do something. I've also realized that technology totally changes the game. I haven't really seen it close up because again, with younger kids, the adult can totally control it. With older ones, things like iPads & video games can be really fun tools for learning & growing as well as socializing with friends because let's face it - all the kids have it now...but it also doesn't expend energy or provide quite the fulfillment/health benefits of spending time outdoors.
| New host kitty, Mimi |
Rob & Danika (& I) know that time spent outside is best for the kids & want to encourage parks & walks & fun activities, & I am getting in the swing of the best way to do it & not just bring the kids home to be bored or try & get on electronics! I've discovered that Bella & Charlie will usually complain about going to a park after school, no matter what. However, once we are there, they flip totally around & being a normal kid takes over, & they love playing on the slides & play equipment as well as playing card games with me & coming up with inventive games. They're really great kids ! However, again, with bigger ones, I can't trick them into liking something as easily; they have to genuinely like it. I even did some online homework of my own on tween behaviors & some of the best activities that tweens will like. I've got a giant list of potential activities to keep us busy & that the kids will hopefully enjoy, & I can't wait to get to know Bella & Charlie & spend more time with them in the coming weeks!
Tomorrow is my 23rd birthday (in Australia), so I am making crêpes for myself & the kids in the morning (thanks Louise for my delicious French recipe!) then will use my free time during school to do some birthday shopping. Tomorrow night, I plan to go out in the city with some au pairs/friends & on Saturday, I will watch a German soccer game with my German girls here in the city. On Sunday, Tan & I plan to either visit the Hunter Valley for wine tasting or check out a brewery & maybe indoor trampoline park...either way, my first real weekend back in the city is shaping up to be a good one!!
On another note: I can't believe that my time left in Australia is (relatively) short. I leave the country in approximately 11 weeks. WHAT?!!!?! Where did the time go?! To be honest, I have gotten progressively more homesick as I near the end of my visa...mostly just eager to see my mom in person & give Sadie all of the love I've needed her for over this past year. But I will be heartbroken, I know, to leave this beautiful country. I really believe I'm meant to live here, so I'll be working toward that goal & others when I arrive back in the States. For now, I just plan to enjoy the remainder of my time & make all of the memories I can!
Till next time,
Alli